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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I think you're mixing a bunch of issues.  You're also right in the period when the newness of being in a new country and at a new job is wearing off and you're probably homesick and wondering if you made the right choice to join this family or even come at all.  It's a really tough period to get through, so make sure you're thinking clearly and making the best choice long-term.   Separate issues below:

1.  It sounds like your host kid is going to be difficult.  If he is kicking or biting you and the host father doesn't care, then you need to rematch.  Seriously.  That is a definite issue.  Particularly if he is hurting you and the father is seriously telling you you can't do anything about it.  Talk to your LCC.

2.  It sounds like you don't agree with the mother's lifestyle and that you don't think she pays enough attention to her kids.  You're certainly welcome to think that, but you need to admit that you have no idea what's going on with her in her life.  If you feel like you're going to be judging her choices the entire year, then please rematch.

3.  It is not ok for them to ask you to be home to open the doors for the workmen.  Not only does it put you in an unsafe position of having men you don't know in the house, but it holds you captive in the house for an unrelated-to-childcare reason.  You would be well within your rights to talk to your LCC about this and to tell the host parents you're not comfortable with it.  They could most definitely ask you to do up to 45 hours of childcare-related tasks such as cleaning the host kids' room, laundry, play room clean up, etc.  But they can't force you to deal with workmen or dog sit or anything like that.  Many au pairs are happy to do this kind of stuff because they have a good give and take with the family - they give extra, the family gives extra.  Doesn't sound like you're willing to do that with this family, but keep in mind that they will probably react in kind.  But the workmen also represents a safety issue and the fact that they TOLD you to do this rather than ASKING if you would makes me suspect they're not going to be treating you all that well in general.

4.  The Mexico trip - No way to say this nicely, you really need to get over this.  I suspect you're unhappy with the whole situation and using this trip as an easy thing to blame your unhappiness on.  It is not personal and has nothing to do with them not treating you like a "family member."  Remember that they only met you a month prior to the trip.  And they are going to a family wedding to which you are not invited.  Also, they do not need child care during the trip.

And additionally, it's a really expensive trip that could add well over $1,000 to bring you.  And before you say you know they have the money, first of all, you don't know that.  For all you know, they have a big fancy house and multiple luxury cars and they are absolutely drowning in debt.  And even if they have the money, which they may well have, it's completely within their rights not to want to spend that significant amount of money to bring along a person they've only just meet who they really don't need to come.

So you say you would have been happy to pay for it - did you tell them that?  Did you say "Host family, I would love to join you on this trip if possible and I'm happy to pay my own way."  And if you were just going to buy yourself a trip to Mexico, why go with your host family?  Make some friends and go with them!

5.  Philadelphia is awesome!!  So much going on and so many nice people.  Get out there and make some friends and make the most of your experience before you get totally down on it.  [/quote]

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