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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I'll try to reply everybody. First, thank you for your input :) - The family has a very good lifestlye, they do well and it wouldn't be a problem financially. I know I can't expect to be invited to a wedding, I could have stayed at the hotel by myself or explore the city. - I think I'll stay home by myself just because they need someone to open and shut the door. - I'm here to explore as much as I can. It would have been a good opportunity to travel, and I could have paid for my trip if I had been offered to come along. - I have talked to the father about his son's behavior. He told me I can't say "no" to his kid, that he'll learn by himsel what's good and what's bad ... He says he's testing me. The mother is not very involved in her son's life. She prefers the gym, going out with her husband and letting the kid with me. I actually work on Saturdays during the day while the parents are home and doing whatever. - I had no idea before going to the US that they would leave for a week for a wedding. I wouldn't have changed my mind though about chosing this family because I wanted to stick to my word. - They are not leaving me any choice. And it won't be a vacation week. They could have asked a neighbor to do the door opening. I am not whining. They don't owe me anything for sure. It's just that I'm feeling left out, not included or part of the family, despite their saying I am. I'm part of the family when it's handy for them I guess. Maybe I'm feeling like this because of my own family and it would sound normal for any other AP who has had a happy family life back home. I'm sure it has to do with this. Right now, I'm thinking about asking for a rematch. The ill-bread kid + being left home alone + not liking Philadelphia = I can't picture myself staying here for a year :([/quote] Two big problems I see above: 1) Your assumption that they do well financially, so taking you on a $1000 vacation would be no big deal. This is a tremendous assumption. I'm assuming you must be young, and you see a family that has 2 nice cars, makes lots of money, has a nice house, etc. -- trust me when I say you have no idea about this family's money matters. We live in a nice house, have 3 cars (one for the au pair) and try to take nice vacations. But that doesn't mean we're made of money. I would not be able to afford taking our au pair on a $1000 vacation. We're "successful" in part because we try to make reasonable choices with our money, and we don't throw it away. If you are going to be bitter about not being included in what is clearly an expensive vacation, you need to readjust your expectations or rematch. 2) Your statement that the father told you that you can't say "no" to his kid. Honestly, I don't believe you. Perhaps you misunderstood him, (although your English is quite good), or perhaps he was trying to make a more nuanced point that you didn't understand. But really, I have heard of all kinds of spoiled American kids, but I have NEVER in my life heard of a parent telling someone "you're not allowed to say no to him". So, sorry, but I'm calling bullshit on that. It makes me question your maturity level. So -- I really hope you find a way to address your reasonable concerns (biting, kicking, etc.) with the parents in a mature way. Otherwise, you might be better off going home.[/quote]
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