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[quote=Anonymous]For as much as some disgruntled APs harp about how they've been tricked into thinking this is a "cultural experience" and then are shocked to come and have to work -- there are an equal number of APs who come here wanting really nothing to do with their host families -- and seeing this really as a job and a roof over their head that gives them some spending money and ability to come and have fun in America with other APs.

I don't think there is anything wrong with this.  APs come for many different reasons and with many different sets of expectations.

Dinner with the family is fun for some, and a chore for others -- regardless of how nice the family is.  I never take this personally.  Some of our APs have liked to eat with us.  Others have preferred to go out with friends more often.  In my view, the job needs to get done.  As long as they are doing that, I am happy to have as much (or as little) of a relationship with them as they seem to want.  While I have had GREAT relationships with several of our au pairs, I recognize that being "best friends" with a 40 year-old American woman with 2 kids may not be at the top of a 22 year old AP's list.

Having said that -- I know I really need my downtime at the end of the day (not that I get it).  But I make sure the AP has an actual "break" and some real downtime between ending work, and jumping in to "family" mode.[/quote]

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