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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My guess?

The sitters tried to make them do all the things you asked. Your kids were bratty and refused. Sitter isn't invested enough in this PT work to make a big battle out of it and so she let things slide.

Solution?

Set stricter consequences for your kids. Duh.

You come home at 8:30 and find someone hasn't showered or hasn't finished their homework? Dock the allowance, loss of TV privileges, first demerit toward a grounding, WHATEVER. It is your responsibility to provide this kind of structure for [b]anyone[/b] you hire to care for your kids. When they're young, sitters and nannies will ask about your discipline techniques and how they should enact time-outs or loss of privileges and it is no different now that they're older. You must set the boundaries, make sure your kids understand them, and give the sitter the authority to enforce them.[/quote]

While this response is worded pretty harshly, I agree with the overall subtext:

You need a person who will cook dinner and do 1 load of laundry every other day.  In addition, you need to train your kids to police themselves through consequences.  You should make it clear that they need to do their homework at x time (right after school, from 5-6, whatever works best for you) and then if it doesn't happen, they lose a privilege (mine fall to pieces at the thought of losing electronics, for yours it might be tv, whatever) and THEN STICK TO IT.  Same goes for showers.  When you come home, the sitter/nanny should have already fed them, done a load of laundry.  And your kids should have their homework done and be showered.  As for their room, close the door and be prepared to leave it that way for the next 6 to 8 years!  They are never going to keep their room clean unless YOU are willing to make it a personal, daily battle.  If they aren't already neat freaks at 10, they aren't going to develop that trait now, and NO nanny wants to fight that fight every day.  Let that one go.[/quote]

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