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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
If you feel the situation has any real hope for a solution, you need to sit both parents down for a talk. Tell dad he needs to be on a consistant schedule as far as being "around" for his child. Ask if he would agree to regular "daddy time". It can be when he wants, but must be consistant, except for emergency changes. You can take advantage of the opportunity to accomplish other tasks. Hopefully they'll recognize the wisdom of this plan.

If dad refuses, I'd start to secure your next job.

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This is bad advice. Dad can see his baby whenever he wants. If you ask for scheduled visitation, you will be fired, so please line up other employment first.

I would address specific concerns - "I would like to clarify your expectations and my role now that DB is around more."[/quote]

+1.  It is not appropriate for a nanny to try to limit Dad's access to his child.  If you are doing your job well, you shouldn't be so sensitive about the fact that he hears you interact with your charge.  You can also remedy this to some extent by taking the child out often, to the playground, playdates, on strolls, to library events.  You might also want to suggest some enrichment classes in the interest of "getting out of Dad's way so he can focus on work while you are on duty."[/quote]

What about the benefit to the CHILD for having consistency in his day? Isn't the nanny allowed to advocate for something that will benefit her charge, even if it means educating the parents (or at least making a recommendation and asking to try it and see)?[/quote]

It would be fine for the nanny to approach the Dad about specific behaviors, but not about[b] his presence in the house or tendency to hang out and talk to the nanny while the nanny plays with the child.  Neither of those behaviors is in any way detrimental to the child[/b].

For example, nanny should explain how she typically handles mid-nap wakeups and explain why Dad running in excites the baby and prevents him from going back to sleep.  If the chip-feeding thing is  a frequent occurrence that significantly affects baby's appetite--I doubt this because most one year olds eat in a high chair and can't just jump up and run after Dad's chips in the middle of a meal--nanny should explain that it would be helpful if Dad would encourage the baby back to the table and make a big deal out of how yummy whatever the nanny is serving looks. She could also ask Dad if he would like to have a regular lunch date with the baby.  That will free her up to handle food prep and cleanup while giving Dad his baby fix.[/quote]

His presence and behaviors are disrupting the child's routine. Detrimental. His hanging out with and talking to the nanny is distracting her from the child's care (Detrimental) and making her uncomfortable (Detrimental) which will quite likely lead to her seeking other employment and the baby having to adjust to a new caregiver (if not detrimental, at least a tough and unnecessary transition).[/quote]

Severed primary care relationships ARE detrimental. It lays the foundation for attachment disorder. Most parents who keep an active revolving nanny seem to be lacking in common sense.

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