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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi there,

Thank you for reading this post. My 2yo DS goes to a 1x/wk mommy and me class with our nanny at our church. The class turns into camp and then into nursery school. There is a little girl in the class whose mom has asked our nanny to babysit, which she has at non-conflicting times (telling me after the fact) and who has invited nanny and DS for play dates, which they go to and which i find out about the day of or after the fact. The mom works from home and has not once invited me over, not really engaged with me when I see her at a birthday party or at the class (when I am able to go), not ever asked me first if DS and nanny can go over, etc. The few times we have spoken she tells me how she wished her child was like mine and how great our nanny is.

I am feeling like this woman is oddly stalking us, trying to steal our nanny or has some other agenda but I can't figure it out. It's really nothing more than a hunch. What do you all say and how would you handle this uncomfortable feeling? [/quote]

Do you have an established rule that your nanny needs to clear all plans with your prior to accepting invitations? If not then I don't think you need to be complaining about the other mother inviting your nanny and son for playdates without going through you or your nanny accepting without clearing it with you before she accepts the offer. If you want your nanny to seek your permission before accepting any and all playdate offers you need to communicate that with her, along with your desire that all playdate offers go through you rather than her. It seems a bit extreme though...do you really have time during your work day to field playdate offers for your son and nanny?

Regarding the babysitting during non-conflicting times...it's none of your business. Your nanny doesn't even need to tell you what she does during her personal time. She could become the preferred neighborhood babysitter and it really wouldn't be any of your business as long as she remains available to you during the agreed-upon hours. If my MB was ever irritated that I told her after-the-fact about a babysitting job during my PERSONAL time I would likely decide she was crazy and start looking for a new job. FWIW I do share information about my weekends/evenings with my MB and that may or may not include times I babysit. She isn't a paranoid person and also realizes I am free to share or not share what I do with my personal time away from work.

As someone else said, perhaps the other mother feels a friendly connection with your nanny. Don't take it personally. It's possible your personality is very different than your nanny's and the other mother just prefers your nanny's company. As far as the comments about how great your child and nanny are, smile and say, "Thank you for kind words. We think our son is pretty great, too, and we feel very blessed to have found such a great nanny." [/quote]

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