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[quote=Anonymous]I'm the one who posted that all of my au pair's visitors have made us a traditional dinner from their country or area. I think the poster that is saying that indicates that I'm forcing the help to cook for me is really off-base. We've had two very dear au pairs and we have welcomed both of them to have visitors stay at our house. Both had their boyfriends come - the first for two weeks and the second for one week. The doesn't had her sister stay with us for a week and the second had a friend stay with us for a week. They were lovely visits and I enjoyed meeting other people in her life, but I'll admit they were difficult for our family. Anyone who says that having someone stay in their house for a week or two (especially someone they don't know at all) doesn't cause at least a bit of anxiety and inconvenience is not being upfront.

The first visitor we had for our first au pair was her sister. The sister came, stayed for a week, ate breakfast, lunch and dinner and didn't lift a finger when I would cook dinner and clean up for them. To me, offering to help, picking up a few groceries, helping with the cooking, etc would be a very basic level of politeness for someone who let me stay in their house for a week. Especially if it wasn't even someone I knew personally. But obviously that's not true everywhere. So now it's in our handbook that we expect long-term guests to pick up or replace some basic food items.

Our second visitor offered to cook a big meal for us from his country and it was lovely. Our third and fourth visitors have done the same. It's always fun - we all cook together, the visitor gets to tell us about the meal and his/her traditions and it truly goes to the cultural exchange aspect of the program.

I don't think the poster who feels like we're taking advantage of the help by having a big family cultural dinner gets the program in the least. Our au pairs have not been "the help" - they have been dear members of our family and we have welcomed their visitors and friends at length. [/quote]

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