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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe the au pair is from a wealthy family and the adjustment to a lower standard of living is new to her. Or she assumed people in America lived better[/quote]

I have certainly found this to be the case with some APs - one that we rematched, and some friends of APs we have had.  Not necessarily that they themselves are from wealthier families, but that they have this picture of American life as a giant "McMansion" in a beautiful hilly suburb where they will live in a separate guest suite on the property with a pool and a big luxury car for their use alone.  They might have to pick the kids up from school at 3pm and drive them here or there in a big comfy car for a few hours each day, but generally their days will be spent lounging by the pool, driving to the mall with the sunroof down and the American wind in their hair, and meeting American men who will marry them and provide that life for them permanently, but without the kids to pick up at 3pm, at least for a few years.  Then they end up with a family who lives in an old, small house right in the District - which is great for an AP who wants to experience life and going out in an American city, of course, but perhaps not at the expense of the rest of the "dream" - with small children and a 45-hour workweek and no car.  This is a hard pill to swallow if that was the AP's "dream."  And I actually can't really blame some of these APs; the agencies abroad seem to sell the AP year as a year of "fun and travel in America."  And they really downplay the work aspect, and the reality that most US families are just regular, middle class people who need childcare, and those that get APs are also looking for their children to experience care from someone who can bring another culture and/or language into the home.  Even if the AP learned all about the family before matching, if they lack maturity and judgment, they might have just ignored reality and hoped for the dream.[/quote]

I think you are on to something!  We are a family with not many materialistic perks but we are kind, respectful and honest with our APs.  Do they appreciate that?  Nope.  They get disappointed that their "american dream" is not a reality but instead of being mature and requesting a rematch, go home, make the best of it etc. they complain the whole year, have zero drive and just make everyone unhappy.[/quote]

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