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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I would really try to see the bigger picture here if you can.  If you trust this nanny, and your daughter likes her, and the nanny is doing all the things that are critical to you in terms of nurturing your child, then try to let some of this pretty minor stuff go.

I've come home in the middle of the day and found the house absolutely a total wreck.  But when I get home at my normal time the house is almost always pristine.

Personally, what constitutes a "break to relax" is different for everyone.  For me that can be anything from a nap, to time to read the paper, to a quick errand, to catching up w/ a friend on the phone.  It really sounds like that's all she was doing.  Your nanny is human and needs safe/quiet/private time like any of us.  If you, before this incident, liked and trusted your nanny then I think you need to have more confidence in your hire.

If you start micromanaging her you'll almostly certainly doom the relationship.  If, instead, you treat her w/ trust, candor, respect (and respect for her ability to separate personal and professional matters), and some flexibility in how she does her job then the odds of you building a good working relationship that is positive for both of you go up significantly.

Just try to think about whether you could (or would want to) be subjected to this same level of scrutiny without any question?    I sure couldn't.

Good luck.[/quote]

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