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[quote=Anonymous]Nanny here.

OP, you are right to be upset. Your nanny changed your child's diet without your knowledge or consent. Yes, she did this in what she felt was the child's best interest and lucky for her she was correct. Unfortunately for her nannies don't get to make major changes like that without their employer's consent.

This whole issue could have been avoided if your nanny had communicated her continuing concerns with you and asked how you felt about doing a trial-run with eliminating dairy. I'm not sure what orders she disobeyed b/c you didn't say that you told her to continue giving dairy (although you may have for all we know).

It definitely needs to be addressed with her. You need to let her know that her lack of communication with you about a major aspect of your child's life (his diet) has led to a loss of trust within the relationship. If you do appreciate her concern you could let her know that, but tell her that in order to remain employed by you (if you decide to keep her) she will need to defer to you for major decisions. As your son's mother you are the decision maker and it is her job to support those decisions.

Major decisions are the parents' to make. Period. A nanny can respectfully express her thoughts, but ultimately she is not part of the final say. I make minor decisions all the time at work, and my employer's trust me to do so. I tell them when I make minor changes/decisions and all is well.  All major concerns/decisions are discussed with MB and left to her to decide what is best. [/quote]

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