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Reply to "What is wrong with new parents?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is an article in the Huffington Post this morning written by a SAHM talking about how it is impossible to keep her house clean and her baby cared for during the day. When her husband gets home, she writes about how he helps her with 50% of the housework. I read the article and couldn't help but think that if this woman had a nanny she would expect the nanny to do it all. Why is that? [/quote] Some people believe Nanny = slave The saddest part about your statement is that it is women exploiting other women. SAHMs know how hard their job is and they have 16 to 18 waking hours/7 days a week to do it. The demeaning comments posted by mothers mocking a nanny's education and choice of career is simply stunning. [/quote][/quote] I don't think the MBs are mocking a nanny's education. I think the problem is the nanny's using their degree as a reason to do things they don't want to do. FWIW I don't think nanny's should be doing the parent's laundry or making their beds. That's not the nanny's job and I have no problem with the nannies saying they don't want to do that but using their degree as an excuse is just silly. I'm a physician but sometimes I clean dishes, fix a computer or change a printer cartridge at work. If I said to my employer "I went to medical school. My job is to see patients, I didn't get a medical degree to do x,y or z" I'd quickly find myself out of a job. I think the best nanny/employer relationships are based on mutual respect. As I said before, I'd never expect my nanny to do my laundry or make my bed but when the children are napping she will do any number of things to help me out. I've never asked her to do anything other than the children's laundry but when she has time she has emptied the dishwasher, organized my freezer and vacuumed the family room, among other things she does to help me enormously. She knows I appreciate it and in turn if she needs to leave a little early or needs my help with something I will gladly do it. I think a lot of the animosity we see on here comes from people who did not have similar relationships with their employer/nanny. The nanny who posted a few days ago explaining that she wouldn't do parent's laundry or make their beds but has a whole list of things she does do during nap time sounds like a great nanny to me. I think the problem people have are with those nannies who sit in front of the tv for 3-4 hours while the children nap and then come here and complain that their job isn't to do anything other than take care of children. Conversely, nannies take issue with those employers who give them long lists of household chores they want the nanny to do with no regard for how long that will take or the fact that the nanny needs some break time too.[/quote] As a physician, would you work for a hospital that asked you to do dishes every day? And then after you started doing the dishes every day, they ask you to scrub the examination room floor? While I find your post extremely reasonable and on point, for a nanny it is not about not helping or pitching in when needed from time to time - it's about establishing the requirements of your job in the initial interview and then being asked to add non-childcare related housekeeping chores to your job AFTER you have taken the job. Nannies call it "creeping". I admire women who have college degrees in education or child development and choose to become nannies because they love working with children - it's horrid to read so many mothers mocking them. [/quote] In all my professional jobs, I have come in cleaning my office or office space. I have cleaned common areas as it was embarrassing when you are interviewing people. I have made copies, including many things that should have been done by the support staff who were lazy. You do what you need to do to preform your job. I've also done babysitting/nanny in high school and college and yes, I did clean. Even if I just babysat, I made sure the kids toys were picked up, common area we were in was clean and kitchen cleaned after bed. Sure enough, I always got called back. Doing that little bit extra makes you stand out from the rest. I have my master's degree and do not think anything is beneath me. If you think it is beneath you because you have a college degree, then you need to find another profession. You are using their house as your place of employment. Just like your home, you have an obligation to pitch in given you are there 40-50 hours a week. The issue is using your degree to justify only doing the absolute minimum. I don't care if our nanny has a degree. That doesn't make a good caregiver or mother. I would far rather have someone with good judgement and common sense. A degree in child development teaches you ages and stages and basics. It does not tell you how to handle a reflux child screaming for hours in pain, hurling everywhere. It doesn't teach you how to care for a sick child. It doesn't teach you many skills that you learn by doing. The degree is just bragging rights to look down on others who do not have it. No one is mocking a degree. It is the justification that you are too good to do certain tasks because you have a degree. I would absolutely hope the doctor would clean her treatment room before seeing a patient if housekeeping did not do a good job or it was needed. I would hope she would clean/sterilize her equipment before using it on me. I would hope she'd clean things like the pen if she or the last patient were sick before giving it to me. The more willing someone is to do and help out, the more I value them. Not by their degree, especially in the child care field. Our nanny does little things like the nanny's on here described. She has thrown in our laundry, sheets and towels if we didn't have time. She doesn't make our bed or our child's, but I don't make it and its not a priority to me. She'll pick up milk and other basics if she sees we are out. She'll do little things like pick up an extra pack of socks for the kids if I forgot. We leave our kitchen very clean but she pitches in. She makes us dinner some nights (she also eats it) as she loves cooking. To me, beyond being great with the kids, that really sets her apart from others. She doesn't have to. We don't have a "contract" that specifies anything but its just being decent. When she's sick, encourage her to take the day off, especially if she caught it from us. If it lasts for more than a day, I've brought over groceries or carryout to make sure she is eating. I've taken her to the doctor when I was concerned about her driving. She doesn't have family in the area.[/quote]
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