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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Host family leaving for a vacation without the Au Pair"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - you know what I find ironic about this? You say that because they are not paying for you to go on an expensive vacation with them, they are not treating you like family (I don’t believe for one second that you would pay for yourself). That they only treat you like family when its “handy” for them. What I want to know is what family member would have a problem opening and closing a door in the house they are living in for a year?! Sounds like I you’re the one that only wants to be part of the family when its handy for YOU. If you were my AP and I was going away for a week, but was paying you I would have a long list of child related chores to do around the house.[/quote] OP here. You misunderstood me. I never said I expected them to pay for my flight/hotel room etc. So believe what you want, I know what I do and what I expect, I'm not going to be intimidated by your opinion. You're probably a bad host mother from what I can read right now ! I don't mind opening and closing the door, I'll do it if I'm still here. But let's just say that while they're having fun I'll be at their house by myself. And for your information, I do have a list of things to get done around the house. It won't take me 45 hours for sure but I'll do them anyway. [/quote] OP - here is another question for you about your expectations regarding this Mexico wedding. (And I'm not one of the posters who thinks you are all in the wrong here; I find that your other issues are quite legitimate - discipline, being told you must work more than the allowed hours, just not clicking, etc. To me, these are valid reasons for rematch if the host family will not immediately change them. And I do hope that the families you are interviewing with will not present these types of issues, and will be a better fit for you.) If your issue is that they will be "having fun" and you'll be at the house by yourself - how would you have felt if you were brought along but required to work the full 45 hours while on the trip, and not given any time to just relax on the beach as the host parents might take some time to do because they have you there taking care of the child the whole time? Would you have preferred that to an extra week of vacation at home in Philly? Or would you complain that they took you on their vacation (which may not be so much of a vacation for them if they will be very involved in arranging the wedding) and then made you work? Also - if you have not met this older child or don't know him well at all, and the wedding is small with only 10-20 people (as "destination" weddings tend to be), it really seems as though YOU are the selfish one, not taking into account the feelings of this older child, who probably wants a very intimate wedding experience. Though the goal is that you become part of the host family during your year with them, you have just been there a month - you are NOT part of this older child's family. He is probably not even going to have many of his old friends and closer family who he has known for years at the wedding with him. And you would not only cost more money for your host parents to bring along; you will cost money to the son as an extra person at the wedding. (And if you feel so bad about not being brought on the trip, wouldn't you feel just as bad being left out of the actual wedding? I would think I'd feel worse, being brought along and then told to stay away from the family activities. But you say you'd be happy not to attend the wedding; you just want to be brought to Mexico. Which sounds even more selfish - "give me a vacation! I don't want to be included in the family activities! I just want an exotic beach vacation!")[/quote]
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