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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]PP, you know that it is disingenuous to compare a nanny's reference to one from a professional company with HR guidelines and some (ANY) level of protection for its employees.

For example, I used to work in non profits and had three supervisors/bosses (that's a crazy world). Anyway, one of them was craaaaazy and two were wonderful. Guess which ones I list on my resume/use as references? A nanny has ONE potential reference, a person who has not just a professional but a personal relationship with their employee too, and who is subject to no particular rules or oversight when it comes to giving a reference.

You are entitled to your own feelings and to say what you are and are not comfortable doing for your nanny, but it is ludicrous to compare the two sources of references the way you have.[/quote]

You seem to have an unrealistic sense of the "protections" that most professional employees enjoy.  Most of us have one boss.  The impression we make on that person can make or break our ability to land future jobs.  It is not uncommon for stessed-out bosses and employees to sour on each other for any number of reasons, legitimate and otherwise.  Most companies do not bar employees from providing references for other employees, and absent an outright ban on providing references, people are as open and forthcoming as they want to be,with no mythical corporate big brother ensuring that they are fair to the departed employee.  Everyone, in every job, has to be mindful of how his or her resignation might affect the boss, and thus, the future reference.  Leaving in a responsible manner is an essential procedure when it comes to being a good employee and getting references to that effect. [/quote]

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