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[quote=Anonymous]I started working with my NF full time in June.

B2 turned 2 in mid April, so he's almost, but not quite 2.5.

NPs did Elimination Communication with him starting at 6 months. Other than when he's sleeping, he hasn't worn a diaper since he was 11 months old. I've been a nanny for over 20 years, and have helped many toddlers (and their parents) navigate potty training, but I have no experience with elimination communication.

When I started, in June, MB said that even though B2 was very good at keeping his undies dry, he NEVER initiated going potty. He would just play and play until he eventually has an accident. So, she said, every 45 mins they would say "it's time to go potty!" And when they said that, B2 would go right to the potty and pee.

But, within about 4 weeks of starting with them, B2 started resisting going to the bathroom. When I would say it's time to go, he would have a tantrum and refuse to go. I asked MB how she wanted me to handle it, and she said to carry him to the bathroom, pull his pants down, and sit him on the potty, if it's been more than 55 mins and he's not going.

The resistance grew stronger and he would have long tantrums in the bathroom every time it was time to go. I asked MB about going longer between potty visits, and she agreed, so now we take him every 90-110 mins, and he still keeps his undies clean and dry between just fine.

I've tried to let him go longer than 2 hours between, to see if he will initiate going to the bathroom himself. But no, he NEVER initiates it until it's too late; every time I've let him go longer than about 2 hours he has an accident. He also doesn't quickly run to the potty once he starts peeing; he'll just stand there and fully empty his bladder, even if I say "run to the potty," he will just stand there peeing unless I pick him up and carry him to the bathroom.

Since we started waiting longer between potty visits, he doesn't have as many full blown tantrums over the potty. But, he still refuses to go to the bathroom - if I ask him to go to the bathroom he says no, if I try to hold his hand and walk to the bathroom together, he lays down on the floor and refuses to get up, so I carry him to the bathroom, every time. If I ask him to pull down his pants and sit on the potty he refuses, so I have to pull them down and sit his bottom on the potty. Every time.

As long as I take him to the bathroom and put him on the potty every 2 hours, he NEVER has accidents, but he won't go to the bathroom unless I literally carry him there, pull down his pants and put him on the potty myself. I encourage him to help but he refuses. Similarly, he won't pull his undies or pants up at the end; if I don't do it myself he will just run around naked all day.

It's also worth mentioning that he's GREAT when it comes to #2; he never has poop accidents, and will sometimes (occasionally) even tell me he needs to poop and go to the potty willingly. But only for poop, not pee.

We've tried using sticker charts with rewards - every time he goes potty without an adult having to carry him to the bathroom and put him on the potty, he gets a sticker; when he fills the sticker chart he gets a reward. He did earn the first reward (a paint set, which he was excited about), but ever since then, even with the promise of a new reward, he hasn't wanted to earn a sticker towards his next reward, and that was several weeks ago now that he earned the first reward.

I've also tried letting him pick the days outing, so it's a place he wants to go, then when the time comes to go potty for the outing, I say "let's go potty so we can go to the zoo [or wherever he picked that day]," but that doesn't motivate him either; if I double down and say "Oh, I guess we can't go to the zoo then, since we need to go potty before we can go." He will just say "okay, I want to stay home now. I don't want to go to the zoo." We've also read so many books about using the potty; focused on being excited to be one of the big kids (and all the fun things big kids get to do), etc, but nothing has helped. So I'm not sure how to motivate him to want to use the bathroom.

It's now been almost 3 months of this now - having to carry him to the bathroom and put him on the potty myself, every single time.

In any other family, I would say "he's not ready, maybe we should go back to diapers and try again in a few months," but since they've been working on potty training him since he was 6 months old, NPs are unwilling to consider this (not that I necessarily think this is what we need to do, but I do know that having to physically carry an almost 2.5 year old to the potty and pull down his pants and put his bottom on the potty every single time is not where we should be!).

I also take care of his infant brother and I also do a lot of housework for them, so I have a lot of other things I could and should be doing instead of carrying him to the potty myself every time.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this situation and any advice you may have, thank you. [/quote]

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