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Reply to "Long-term nanny performance slipping"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don't have food in the house you're not okay with her giving the kids. Stop buying canned soup and mac and cheese. Tell her "Your performance seems to be slipping, I want you to go out strong this summer so I can give you a great reference and good severance. Can you go back to the days of taking the kids out daily, reading with them for at least an hour to an hour and a half, and getting laundry done during nap time?" [/quote] OP again. Thanks for this suggestion. I have been trying to address issues like the food or phone or books one at a time so it’s not an overwhelming amount of feedback for her to have to fix at once, but maybe it’s better to just get it all out so she knows it’s an across the board issue of not being proactive. To clarify on food: she is the one buying the mac & cheese and soup. We told her she could buy groceries or use our groceries/leftovers for kid meals. She almost never uses our food and buys everything for kid meals herself. This was great when she was baking yams and steaming carrots, not so good now that it’s lots of processed preservative-heavy stuff. I don’t mind things like mac & cheese in moderation, but it would be the ONLY thing for a meal and she would make it many days in a row. When I sat down to talk with her about the food issue, DC2 had been eating nothing but mac & cheese for lunch for 2 weeks straight. It’s a bit better now that she adds hummus & fruit to each meal and has a few more frozen/canned entrees on rotation, but it’s hard not to notice the difference vs. a few years ago.[/quote] It may simply be that she wants the kids to both eat, but one or both are no longer eating the unprocessed food. It could be that she's tired due to the commute and thought it was fine. I would suggest letting her know that she can use any food in the house, but you are taking grocery shopping off of her plate to reduce stress. Then, you can purchase frozen veg in steam bags, larger cuts of meat that can be leftovers for the next day, plenty of fruits, etc. If she only uses wheat you have in the house and you provide the foods you want your kids to eat, there shouldn't be any further problems. Kindergarteners are sometimes drained at the end of the day, sometimes too energetic due to not enough movement. Evaluate your child objectively, then look at what she's doing with the 3yo. What activities could they do after school together? Or could going to the park everyday (unless lightning) be an option? To me, it sounds like a combination of depression related to loss of a long-term relationship with no prospects for another relationship right now, finding herself as an unpaid part-time caregiver for aging parents (also contributing to exhaustion and making it harder to have time for a romantic relationship), and a commute that she can't cut while working for you. None of those are her fault or yours, but it is impacting her ability to perform the job to your standards.[/quote]
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