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[quote=Anonymous]
Dear Parents, its a tough one….and I see your concern-it’s understandable that you are leaving the nanny share arrangement due to your financial limitations. First, could you clarify if this parting gift is on top of the severance pay (that is usually offered after termination with little to no notice, not for cause) or is that your share arrangements term for severance pay or you weren’t planning on offering severance pay at all? I ask because my response takes the angle of severance pay.

While it’s understandable that you would want to save as much as possible for your family, you asked for suggestions on what would be a decent parting gift for your nanny and although PP was rude, her response about not blocking unemployment and considering weekly pay amounts, were good ideas to answer to your question.

I think the problem is that you are focusing solely on your reasoning (wanting save/financial limitations etc) and forgetting that your nanny probably is in a similar situation or even worse now that she will lose her job without another job lined up- you know this. Ask yourself what you would feel is the fair thing for an employer to do for you.

You mention that “we have tried to be good employers though” is it to imply that it should make up for covering the nanny’s whole or partial severance? I don’t want to assume so do clarify. But I do want to stress that being a good employer should be a standard expectation the same way you would expect a good nanny (without trying) and part of being a good employer is not only what you do during the employment period but how you end it and how you treat/interact with your employee after termination of employment.

Most families and Nannie’s have a severance pay and notice clause that thankfully from my experience, it was honored and the families went above and beyond my expectations even (which I am grateful for ). If you truly respect and appreciate your nanny (which sounds like you do) and you intend on having a good relationship with her, My advice would be to not try to tip toe around it but to honor this clause if you had it in your contract and if not to seriously consider giving her 2-4 weeks of pay for the following reasons:
-this sounds like the termination is not for cause 
-she relies on this source of income and has no job lined up
-she’s devoted her time to your family by providing reliable care so you can work 
-she also has financial limitations and concerns just like you do. 
-she has to provide for herself and for her family just like you do.

While the amount of money for 2-4 weeks of pay seem excessive for you, again, remember that you just terminated someone’s source of provision and if you had this clause, the right thing to do is to honor it- honoring a clause has nothing to do with the other standard employment benefits you provided (she probably agreed to them without even knowing that down the line you may want to use it as leverage when termination comes and she could use severance or a parting gift as you say)/.

The only time I guess it would make sense  not to consider paying her severance for 2-4 weeks is if you had mentioned to her your decision/desire to terminate employment due to your financial limitations to give her 2-4 weeks notice (whatever your agreement was) so that she can try to find employment. But I can tell you that for someone who’s given you reliability, it doesn’t help in ending on a good terms especially because it can take more than 4 weeks to find reliable employment.

Now your nanny really should have given you more notice before rate increases but it still in my opinion doesn’t justify being left with no income with little to no notice after she’s reliably cared for your children for a while. Unless you can consider keeping her for another 2-4 weeks in notice if she’s willing to work…that’s the only tangible idea I can think of to line with the tight finances.

As far as the amount $500– suggestions for amounts were made above and ultimately you knowing your financial situation would decide but maybe another way to think of it is asking yourself if $500 can sustain you and your family for 2 weeks + as you search for a job. If things are so tight that you cannot pull up 2-4 weeks of pay, then I would suggest giving her an amount as close as possible and if you respect her and truly see her situation, be honest about your financial limitations—and also stress that you are ware that she’s essentially going high and dry…give her space to respond in a way that you probably would also if you were in her shoes- termination, no job, no source of income (stress and may not want to come back should you change your mind). She’s just as financial distressed if not worse.
Moving forward, I would use this as a learning experience for next time you hire someone to consider the possibility of severance is the right thing to do.

Just that sometimes Nannie’s become relevant for overnights, date night sitting or just for the simple fact of your children seeing their former carer every now and then, or providing a reference to a future nanny you may want to employ should your finances improve,….or even wanting her back should things not work out with day care. There are so many families who parted ways with their nanny and even though they never used it as a string to keep a tab on a former nanny, the nanny was able to offer to step in or even come back when things didn’t work out with another option…or just became a good friend and reliable figure for their children.

So always remember that the more generous and considerate you are in this moment, even if you don’t see the need, it may pay off in one way or another (even if it’s not with the same nanny). Also this is the moment that shoes many Nannie’s whether they were indeed valued as employees and as people….so I hope this maybe one thing to help you decide whatever you choose to do. I truly hope that things improve for your family financially and that your nanny finds a job soon as well.

All the best! [/quote]

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