Reply to How to let nanny know it's ok to leave?

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[quote=Anonymous]If you've tried to start the conversation and been unsucessful, then I would not bring it up any further. And do not ask questions about her personal health except as they are relevant to the job (e.g., if she's asking for time off or accommodations), though if she offers those details, listen thoughtfully and ask if there's anything you can do to help.

I understand you think involving the nanny gives her more options or flexibility, but any "benefit" (if the nanny even sees it that way) is offset by the weirdness and pressure of being involved in your employer's family decisions. What you can do to be nice without being weird in this case is:
1) if nanny has proactively brought up her plans (like she is applying to grad school now and wants to start a program next January), then do your best to accommodate what she's envisioning (preferred end date, scaling back to PT/occasional babysitting, whatever)
2) make your own intentions known -- tell her you'd love her to stay until Larla goes to pre-K in X years and that you're always open to conversations about what it would take to make that work for her. But at the same time, you'll be supportive if she decides she would like to make a career change. And leave it at that with no pressure for her to respond.
3) if you decide at any point you'd rather do some other form of childcare, then give her a good amount of notice so she can start making other plans[/quote]

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