Reply to Conflicted and heartsick re our Nanny of 3 years

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I'm saying this kindly as a former nanny of over a decade, current mom of two little kids who has a nanny, and nanny agency director.

I don't think this relationship is going to be what you want no matter how you spin it now. The fact of the matter is that assuming you are paying above the table, offering fair market rates and benefits then you just have to think about the fact that you are paying for the most expensive form of private childcare and should get what you want for your kids. That's not saying your nanny is necessarily bad, but just not what you intended to hire for. There's no doubt the nanny family relationship is intimate and personal, but it does need to remain professional. At the end of the day you are still the employee and they are the employee and in any workplace, there's standards and processes that are expected to be followed. Maybe in your next nanny relationship, you can still be kind and loving but also keep a bit more professional structure and build in periodic reviews and such. Also, an air tight work agreement is such an underutilized tool to laying out clear expectations and kicking the relationship off on the right foot. Best of luck![/quote]

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