Reply to Really concerned about NK (7) and the way he is handled. Has anyone reported to CPS?

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[quote=Anonymous]I started this position in late August.  The eldest (B7 almost 8) is in school most days and usually I just do pick up and spend a few hours with him 3 evenings a week.

All of the kids are very spoiled as MB & DB believe they are practicing gentle parenting but in reality they are just ultra permissive parents.  Zero discipline for the children old enough for consequences, children are never told no, they will run themselves ragged making sure these children are always perfectly happy as content which is obviously futile because happy and content children need boundaries.

The younger two (G18mo & G3) are with me all day.  I have minimal issues if their parents aren’t home, our day goes smooth.  I literally live in fear the days I have to watch B7 because he doesn’t have school or is ill because he is a truly terrifying child.  He torments his siblings and shows no remorse.  He’s threatened me numerous times, the worse being when we were driving and he asked me to stop and get him ice cream and I declined because we had somewhere to be.  He pulled in my seatbelt from behind me and threatened to get out of his seat, strangle me, make me wreck the car and “escape” while letting me and his younger siblings “burn to death in the car.”  This was in October, I addressed it with his parents and they actually seemed to doubt I was telling the truth but said they’d “talk to him about it.”   Not sure what came of it but no apology from his end.  He generally treats me like garbage and I have decided to go to a new position in the new year despite the solid pay and enjoying the younger two children.  I have nannied for over a decade and never dreaded being around a child.

My concern is for the younger siblings.  In the past 4.5 months there have been several very concerning incidences that lead me to believe he is a direct threat to his siblings.  Early on he and his 3-year-old sister were playing in her bedroom as I changed G18mo and I came in and he had G3s pants and undergarments off.  He was not touching her but this startled me so much I immediately corrected him and told them both that they needed to keep their hands to themselves.  I made sure to not shame G3 who just looked confused.  B7 just responded he could do what he wanted.  He is more curious about nudity and sexuality than most bits his age are in my (limited) experience.  I don’t nanny for kids older than 5 usually but he is very obsessive with the female body and makes constant comments about sexual acts.  He always fights to see his youngest sisters bottom when I change her and has “jokingly” touched both girls bottoms over their clothes.  I’ve asked him to stop.  I’ve addressed this with the parents numerous times.  Dismissive.

I plan on contacting CPS once I leave, I’d do it earlier but I know they’ll know I reported and worry about how they’d react.  Beyond having my pay withheld, I do know a nanny who reported her family for abuse (dad was practically beating the kids) and they ended up accusing her of the abuse.  It was a giant mess.

I obviously want to protect the kids, but that is MB and DB primary responsibility and they seem more interested in seeing B7 as their golden boy (he’s super intelligent) than putting forth any effort to address his concerning behavior. I just wish I never took this job because I don’t want to get caught up in this families dysfunction.

Yes, I am going to report! I am just worried about backlash and have concerns about my well-being too (I know, unpopular view in this community for a nanny to be concerned for herself since we are suppose to sacrifice ourselves for these families).

Has anyone reported to CPS?  With a current or past employer? How did it go?  I really would prefer this be solved without going through CPS as I do find the system super flawed but given that they’re a wealthy white family I’d hope they’d just force them to get B7 the services he needs, make sure both girls are ok vs. doing anything drastic like removing children from the home.

Just feeling conflicted. 
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