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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I struggle with this. Our nanny is amazing, and I trust her, and I want her to have authority, and flexibility, to do her job. She also has a ton of experience.

On the other hand, we are the parents, and there are things that are important to us. I think it's a tough balance. I think we've got a good balance, but I'm open to people's suggestions.

Here's what we've told our nanny:

No food in bedrooms, for her or the children (that's a house rule, we don't eat in the bedrooms either).
Please don't carry children on the hardwood stairs with socks on. They're slippery. Barefoot, shoes, or slippers are fine, and we gave her some socks with grippers if she wants to wear those.
When she's started with each of our babies they were already fully sleep trained and on a schedule. So we told her eating times and sleeping times. When she started giving an extra snack, we added that into our weekend days to adjust to her schedule.
We told her the nap time routine. Change diaper > put in sleep sack > read two books > turn on noise machine > sing song > put in crib. 
We provide a bunch of food, and she can serve the kids whatever makes sense. We just ask that she gives them a fruit and a veggie with lunch and snack. 
No screens for the kids.

We also do a lot more, so that we get to be in control - for example, we pre-prepared bottles for her, so she just needed to pull one out and stick it in the warmer, which meant we controlled the # of ounces, and the ratio of formula to pumped milk (as I weaned). We tend to start things on Saturdays (dropping bottles, introducing the potty, schedule changes, etc).

We also take a very collaborative approach. We ask her questions, we take her feedback into account. If she says baby isn't finishing her bottle, we reduce ounces. If she says baby isn't going to sleep, we push back nap time. But decisions like that are made together, and we have the final say. We also made sure that baby #2's schedule worked with what she was already doing with our oldest (ie, we got her used to taking her first nap in the stroller so the nanny could still go to the library or the park with our older child if she wanted to).

There's a lot of stuff we don't care about - if she stays home, goes to the park, goes to the library, whatever. As long as she's keeping the kids safe, if she's on her phone at the park, fine. During nap time, she can do whatever she wants - TV, phone, nap, make calls, whatever. We buy whatever toys she says the kids would like, and whatever she needs for the kids. Activities when the kids are awake, whatever she wants, I trust her. Honestly, the schedule and naps are the big things we care about. [/quote]

I hate micromanagers... but you guys rock.[/quote]

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