Reply to Nanny -- concerning note to self

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[quote=Anonymous]We've had our nanny for 2.5 years.  We are overall very happy with her and the kids love her.  She is flexible, reliable, and a great fit for our family in many ways.  She has been a nanny for 10+ years and we pay her accordingly plus overtime, a raise every year, bonus, etc.  Overall, we've had a very positive relationship and I really don't want to fire her if I can avoid it, but my gut feeling is telling me otherwise.

The problem:  While I was cleaning my son's room, I found a note on a sheet of paper that my son used to write his letters.  The note says: "Quit talking. I want quiet."  It is her handwriting.  I find this note, and especially the tone, very disturbing.  Why would someone write a note like that?  I've certainly had moments of frustration with our kids when I feel like I need a break or some quiet, but I would never express it in that tone, those words, or write it on paper.  Unfortunately this is not coming totally out of the blue.  There've been 2-3 times I have heard her telling the kids that they need to lower their voices or be quiet because she has a headache.  I didn't like the annoyance in her voice and that she used her headache as the reason for them having to be quiet.  I would have preferred if she redirected them or used a less annoyed tone or just took them outside or let them watch a video if she needs a break.  Or she could tell me she is not feeling well and take the rest of the day off.  While I debated with my husband whether to bring this up to her, I decided it was too petty and I would wait until there was more of a pattern.  Now that I've seen this note I am starting to feel that this is a more serious issue and she is really frustrated and annoyed with our kids and it's not good for her or for the kids to continue this relationship.

I go back and forth on whether I am making a big deal out of this note.  What do you think?  Our current plan is to talk to her, bring up the note, tell her we find this concerning, and ask if she is feeling ok and if she needs time off.  Depending on her reaction we would need to make a decision whether we can continue the relationship.  Would you do anything different?[/quote]

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