Reply to Getting 5 Year Old to "Obey" AP

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[quote=Anonymous]Wow.

“I know you think it’s funny, because you’re using a robot voice.  It’s not.  Go to your room and use your robot voice there.  When you are ready to get your own water AND apologize, you may come out and do so.”

“What happens when you break safety rules?” (I listen when kids explain that it means they can’t be trusted to be safe, so they lose a privileges related to following that rule.)  “If you don’t come when you’re called the first time, what happens?” (Various answers: no going there for x amount of time, holding an adult’s hand instead of playing at the park, spending more time inside, etc.)  “Did you follow the safety rule and come when you were called?  No?  Ok, so which consequence are you choosing?”  (Child chooses whichever they think they can tolerate for the required length of time.)  “I’m sorry you made that choice.  I hope that you can make a better choice next time.”

I call kids ONCE.  They know by how I call them whether it’s a group or individual call, whether they need to do something, or whether I want to talk to them.  They also know that while there is room to ask for clarification, timing and reasons about anything else, coming when you’re called is non-negotiable.

I’d suggest sitting your children down with the AP and creating a list of house rules and consequences (positive and negative), so it’s not up to your AP to figure out discipline.  All she has to do is call attention to both following and not following the rules.

Frankly, if I called a child in from the backyard and they didn’t come?  They would have two choices: three days staying inside unless I’m outside with them and staying inside for one day (even when I got outside).  If they can’t be trusted to listen and come when they’re called in from the backyard, I also can’t trust that they’ll come when you’re called at a park or elsewhere, so that would mean no trips anywhere until I trust them to be safe again.[/quote]

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