Reply to Au Pair Thinks Husband and I are her Friends? Where and How to Draw Boundaries

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our au pair has been with us for a year and a half.  We really like her, but she seems to have problems keeping friends.  She will hang with another au pair a few times, and then it "sizzles."  I don't know why.  We've introduced her to some young women we know and one told us that our au pair was full of drama and at times offensive.

Her bday is coming up and we offered to throw her a party for her friends but she said she doesn't have any friends.  My husband suggested to me that we get a sitter for the kids (oldest is 7) and take au pair out to a nice dinner - just the three adults.  To me, this feels like it crosses a line.  I like my au pair but I don't have the bandwidth to be her friend with my job, my family and my own friends.  She's definitely made comments like wanting to work out with me and go shopping with me (sans kids).  I don't want that, but I also don't want to be unfriendly and seem selfish.  Any advice??? [/quote]

Family party, WITH kids, either at home or at a kid-friendly restaurant.

Reach out to the LCC as well.

And don't cave on the boundaries.  "Sorry, AP, I need to go work out and DH is working, that's why we scheduled you for these hours."  Then, we she asks you to join her during her off hours: "Sorry AP, DH is with his friends and you're off, which means I'm with the kids.  This is my time to do xyz while they play or play with them."[/quote]

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