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[quote=Anonymous]Live-in here.  While I’m always up to travel with my nf, most others aren’t (live-in and live-out).  Here’s my recommendations:

1. Ask if she wants to go.  If she doesn’t, you can reasonably ask her to take her vacation time then.  For the rest of the time, you’d have to weigh needing a new nanny in the fall against paying for her to stay home.  You could reasonably ask her to do any child-related tasks (purging closets, sanitizing toys, purging and donating toys, etc) while you’re gone if you pay, and she’s likely agree to handle mail and doing a grocery pickup when you get back.

2. Rethink your schedule.  You have blocks of time that you want to have her available, then you pay whether she works or not.  Instead, I’d suggest talking to her and working out a set schedule that includes your night out.  That schedule shouldn’t vary week to week.  She should be able to make her own plans to go listen to a concert in the park (for her car, if necessary) and know whether her schedule will accommodate it or not.

3. She needs to bring her car, and you need to pay the federal mileage rate plus tolls.  It’s a special kind of hell to have one kid car and one adult car with kids and three adults.

4. If you plan to do takeout and she’s home, you text her the menu and ask what she wants, even if she’s not in duty.  If you’re cooking at home, she can eat what you eat, cook for herself, or pay for her own food.  If she chooses to be out of the house when take out is ordered, you could ask if she wants some, but she should already be planning her own meal.  Ask her for a list of foods and a general idea of quantities that you should keep stocked for her weekly.  If you eat it and/or it’s a reasonable cost, don’t quibble (ie. if you do smoked salmon on a bagel twice a week, and she wants it 4 times per week, no grouching over the added cost; if you don’t spring for smoked salmon more than once every few months, then asking her to choose lower classes at items is fine).

5. Give her the master bedroom with the en-suite.  You share with your children.  Alternatively, find a house with a MIL suite or basement that can be all hers.

6. If she’s not an outdoorsy type, she’s going to be bored out of her mind and away from everyone she knows.  Make sure that she has your subscription information for all streaming services.  You won’t want her with you all the time, and she’ll want some time to herself too.  Make sure that she has a tablet, computer and/or television in her room/area.

7. You need to discuss what time you, kids and she each go to bed and get up.  Nothing is worse than thinking you’ll get to sleep in and then hearing hanging on the wall next to your head... at 5 am.  You also need to discuss who locks the door, when and whether there are enough keys for each adult (or whether an electronic door would wake up other adults).

8. Talk to her about the rate.  Most nannies would be fine with $300-400/day, if they’re open to traveling in the first place.  That covers both her regular salary and the travel inconveniences.[/quote]

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