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[quote=Anonymous]Hi, future au-pair here.

I know there are many experienced host families and I was thinking maybe I can get some advice here  :D

Long story short: I feel like becoming an au-pair in the USA is the right thing for me to do. It´s been about 3 years since the initial idea and now I feel I´m absolutely ready for this. I´m 23 yo and I´m in my final year of university so the timing is perfect - August 2021-August 2022 in the USA and then I can go back to school to get my master degree and have a fresh start instead of freezing my master studies for a year and then go back.

And now the problem - my mom. She´s totally against this. She is incredibly anxious that something will go wrong and the year will be a disaster. I find it very difficult to even talk to her about this because every response I get to anything I say is - the plane is gonna crash, your family is gonna kill you, someone will kidnap you, there´ll be a terrorist attack, you will have health issues and you´re gonna die a miserable death. I mean ... she does not have an idea how the program works but I´m not given the chance to explain everything. She doesn't listen...

She even told me she´ll do anything to prevent me from going and that she didn´t expect me to be so selfish after everything she has done for me. She also says I'm not grateful for what I have and that the need for traveling is stupid. I should be thankful for good health etc. OMG, I am !! I´m sooo thankful for it I just feel there´s nothing wrong with my idea ... or should I just sit home for the rest of my life and spend my time thinking how happy I am to be healthy?

Money is not an issue, I earned money enough to cover all the cost by summer part-time jobs and would never ask her to give me money for this.

To make it more real, she has never been abroad, works as a shop assistant, and is very closed to anything new. I´m a student of two schools (Art academy and university) and even this is so surreal to her. Every work that I do for school (read a book, write an essay...) she sees as a waste of time.

Last year, I was chosen to go abroad as an exchange student but she mentally broke down and so I ended up staying home and wasted that opportunity. I hate this. 
She is a single mum and doesn't have anyone, just me. Her husband left her, her parents died, her sister is no interested in keeping in touch with her and she doesn´t even have real friends. She has a dog and so it´s not easy for her to go out and do something because she needs to take care of him.

I understand she feels very lonely and isolated... but I feel like I shouldn't pay for it. I just don´t know what to do, I genuinely love her but I don´t want to waste my opportunity.

My question is for you as a mother: What would help you in my mom´s situation? I know it may be difficult and scary for a parent to let her child do this adventure. Imagine your daughter will tell you about her dream like this - what is your response and how you handle the whole situation?

Maybe together we will find something I can tell my mom to make her feel better about this.

Thank you, E. [/quote]

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