Reply to How to bring up minor issues without seeming... crazy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A few weeks ago we hired a young person to assist our Pre-K kid with online learning (we're in DC and are in a school we like and want to keep our spot.) We knew this person loosely and she is a very nice and gregarious young 20-something.

We're starting to notice some tiny issues and I'm looking for a way to broach them without sounding crazy. In the past, prior to Pre-K our child was in a daycare center so all of this is new to us. The issues are things like

- Overheating food to the point it's almost inedible or not portioning food, like we can't leave a full container of mac and cheese for instance, it has to be portioned otherwise it will all be reheated and left out
- Leaving a cup of milk out all day and not putting it in the fridge when our child is done with it 
- I think our child might have picked flowers from someone's yard on a walk. When I asked about it she said, "Well they weren't at the front of the house, don't worry." 
- Mentioning that our child doesn't know or forgot all of X like "doesn't know her alphabet" to the point where our child tells us that her caregiver doesn't thing she knows X. (I just don't want our child to get discouraged -- this COVID stuff is rough enough) 
- We've seen her kind of over-prompting our child for answers for the teacher or doing the work for our child for instance finding things the teacher asked the children to find
- She'll say that our child is bossy - I get why but I really hate that word being used in reference to children

For the most part, these things seem like common sense to me, so feel like bringing them up at all is insulting - that said,  they are things that are bothering us and I'd like for them to be fixed if possible. They don't feel like dealbreakers but things that can be tweaked (we can portion out food, maybe she can remember to put away the milk after breakfast, etc.).

Just for reference, this is a part time situation, about 25 hours per week. Really open to any suggestions regarding how to broach things gently and thanks.[/quote]

I'd prioritize, and offer suggestions as necessary: 
-The teaching help stands out to be the most. You may need to give her tools to assist. I remember being a young 20-something and didn't really understand how to help a child with homework, because I didn't have the experience! 
"Nanny, we don't want DC to get discouraged, especially during distance learning. instead of: "DC doesn't know her alphabet," we'd rather something more constructive - "DC struggled with letters today, but did a great job with numbers/shapes/colors" 
"Nanny, we want to give DC time to sort through her classwork and would like you to be a little more hands off. DC learns better when we let them work on XYZ and then check the work afterwards for errors."

"Nanny, I understand that DC acts pushy sometimes, but we prefer to not use the word bossy because of negative connotations. Could you please replace it with spirited/authoritative/etc?"

The flowers thing I'd completely let go.

Milk - can you add ice to it? Or a more insulated cup? I'm not sure this is a hill worth dying on. Or you can change the narrative. "We're trying to help DC be more responsible. Could you remind DC to put the milk in the fridge when they aren't drinking it?"

Food - she may not realize you portion it out and then warm it up. Ask her. "Nanny, we'd prefer it if you portioned out the food before warming it up. This helps the leftovers last longer." [/quote]

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