Reply to New Host Mom - Need Advice to Rematch or Not

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]- She isn't bonding well with my 3.5 yr old (this is the biggest issue***). I know age 3 can be a tough age but she acts like she just doesn't like her.

She is a caretaker.  She has to take good care of her, not bond. Bonding is for parents.

- She doesn't enjoy being flexible with hours (we do one date night a month but wish we could do this twice a month. She acts like its an inconvenience even though she is home all the time)

She gets paid the same either way.  Would you be flexible?  Probably not if your job didn't require it.  How may hours is she working?  Just hire another babysitter once a month.

- She doesn't like to play outside (my 3.5 yr old LOVES being outside even in the cold weather).

Not everyone likes the cold.  You can take your child out when you get home.

- She is not very proactive with tasks. I usually have to ask her several times to do things but then she does it.

Give her a list.

- She wants nothing to do with the kids when she is off. Fair enough but she just gives off a rude vibe.

She probably spends more time with them than you do.  She wants a break.  Do you like to do work on your off time?

- She slept in twice and I had to knock on her door bc I was late to meetings.

Not a big deal in six months.  Get her an alarm clock.[/quote]

OP, the PP is not a host mom, but rather a nanny troll, who gets an enjoyment form posting (mostly useless stuff) on this forum. Once you abstract from the hostility, there is some truth to the post though.

Flexibility with hours is an important aspect of the program. How does your AP express her dissatisfaction? You do not need to ask her permission and she does not need to enjoy covering for you when you go out, but going out twice a month is completely reasonable (assuming do not go over 10h/day 45h/week). There is no need to hire a sitter.

I would not rematch over not taking the kids outside. I agree that this is a personal preference. Next time, you can screen for candidates who are more outdoorsy.

Same with being proactive. It is hard to screen for it. And lots of APs are not proactive.

Sleeping in is annoying. I agree with getting her an alarm clock.

Your real issue is not bonding with your 3.5yo and also not bonding with your family (given that she wants nothing to do with you when she is off). Plus, rude/unfriendly behavior is another issue. At the same time, if she great with a 9mo, I may just suck it up for another 7 months. At that time, you will be much more marketable with an almost 1.5yo.

It's a tough call, OP. I am sorry, your first hosting experience is a mixed bag. Depending how rude/unfriendly she is to you and your 3.5yo, it may warrant a rematch. Just remember that getting an AP to take care of an infant is hard.

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