Reply to No Christmas Gift- would you go back?

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[quote=Anonymous]You might be overreacting, but you know the parents better than we do.  It’s silly for you to compare yourself to the cleaning lady; she’s a regular employee of theirs and bonuses are standard.  What are you?  You’re not the nanny anymore.  You’re an occasional sitter and speaking of, how occasional are we talking about?  Do you watch the kids on a regular basis, like every two weeks?  Then yes, I’d expect something.  But if we’re talking about less than that and on an irregular basis, then a card would have been thoughtful, but I wouldn’t be offended. The holidays are a hectic time and I would be understanding if I weren’t a regular fixture in their lives, which it sounds like you aren’t.  DH and I have dozens of people we have to gift - clients, vendors, household employees, teachers and tutors, various service providers - and it’s very easy to overlook someone who isn’t a constant in our lives.  It sounds like you feel like you should have gotten something anyway because of your history and you’re a “friend of the family” now, but not everyone gives cards or gifts to their friends.  Also, you said you quit that job and you probably lost most of your goodwill from that.  We have a nanny whom we absolutely adore and we are very generous with her.  If she left us because she was changing careers, for instance, I would absolutely remember her at the holidays if she made the effort to visit us and help out with our kids.  But I’ll tell you, if she left us to go to another family without objective reasons (e.g., we couldn’t give her sufficient hours), I would be devastated and have a really hard time getting over it.  And I might not give her something at the holidays because I’m not over it and besides, we don’t give presents or even cards to many of our friends.[/quote]

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