Reply to Considerations in making the decision to switch from APs to a nanny (house manager really)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I work FT (more than FT really) and have had au pairs for the last six years. We use them on a split schedule so before school and after school, and one shift most weekends either Sat AM or Sun PM. We have had amazing experiences and terrible experiences, and at this point I’d consider us pretty seasoned host parents.

A few things I’ve been thinking about lately:

- One of our children has special needs (pretty severe ADHD that manifests in anxiety/anger) and can be very difficult. She has been a challenge for every single AP we have had, but she’s also had great relationships with each of them at the end of the day. So she really likes them- but I feel like from a day to day perspective we might be better off with a more mature, older care provider who could be more consistent and firm while still being loving.

- The biggest issue is actually that *I* feel burned out. I’m tired of making small talk every night. I’m tired of making an effort to be inclusive on weekends. Really I’m just tired and I feel like I could use a break from hosting. Our current au pair is really good, as far as au pairs go, so it’s not her- it’s me. I used to love hanging out with our au pairs at night and now I dread it. We are still very generous with them in terms of pay and gifts and all that, but I feel like I’m not as good of a HM as I used to be.

- We need coverage until 8:30 at night M-TH and occasionally on F. Both kids are in school until about 3:30-4. I’m thinking of seeing if I can get a nanny/HM to cook, run errands, organize, do light housekeeping/laundry/etc either 12:30-8:30 M-F or maybe start earlier but end earlier every other Friday (if this is appealing). I figure the daytime coverage is enough that if the kids are sick my husband and I can make things work between us until mid-day, which is way less disruptive than missing a full day.

I guess I’m just throwing all this around in my head. Is it worth paying what will certainly be much more for a nanny/HM, given my position? We currently pay about $800 extra per month in after care as an “insurance policy” for flaky APs and ideally we could stop paying that with a reliable nanny who hopefully wouldn’t bail on us! (We had one bad rematch situation and started doing this after that!)[/quote]

It is unconscionable that you had an au pair for a child with severe AFYHD!  [/quote]

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