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Reply to "Letting go of nanny - personality clash"
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[quote=Anonymous]Do you have a contract? If so, any terms spelled out in there would apply. In a perfect world, and certainly with your next hire, put a probationary period in your contract. That can be a month, or even three months if you want, but it's a period of time during which employment can be terminated without the same notice that might be specified elsewhere in the contract. Presuming you don't have a contract that specifies terms, I would let her go on a Friday, hand her one week's severance, with her the best, and move on. At two weeks in this isn't traumatic for your child, doesn't require extended notice or severance, and should be handled as cleanly as possible. THat said, I might also have a direct, calm, conversation with her first if you're at all inclined to see if this can work. (Replacing a nanny is hard!) It's possible to have a conversation where you say "Jane, we want to touch base on how things are going in the first two weeks. How are you feeling about the job? Do you have any concerns?" Then let her talk and see if she raises anything you can use as a conversation starter. If she doesn't, and just says things are great, then you continue. "Well, we have some things we'd like to talk about. You are working really hard, and we very much appreciate (put in several things you like and want to encourage that she is doing well). One thing we want to talk about is that we sometimes feel you disagree with what we ask or with our parenting approach. And example is (have two or three instances of conversations illustrating when you felt she was pushing back at your wishes). Those moments make us feel that you aren't comfortable with our parenting approach - which would obviously be a problem for the overall fit with this job. " Then let her talk. It takes skill, planning, an ability to detach from your emotion's, and really good listening skills to have that kind of conversation but it's worth a shot. It might be that you can correct this dynamic early on, and also develop a way of having candid conversations with your nanny, that could really pay off. It might not work either, but I think it's worth trying - especially if you feel she is really trying. The nanny/parent dynamic is fraught w/ emotion and discomfort around clear communication - that won't change if you switch nannies so I'd encourage you to at least try some direct communication before you decide you need to let her go. And then, if it isn't working, just make it a clean, kind, quick break. Good luck.[/quote]
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