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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "AP Dating Issues - Please Help!!"
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[quote=Anonymous]Hi Everyone, I wanted to quickly get your options on a recent situation we have experimented with our AP. To give some quick background, our prior local AP coordinator used to have a rule that the AP’s should not use dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, etc. Now that a new AP coordinator is in charge, she said they could use such apps which has now opened up the flood gates to serial dating. Our AP (21) as been going on a many dates and this weekend decided to go on an out of town trip (3.5 hours away) with a boy (20, in Navy) who she has been seeing for a few weeks. My wife and I told her that we needed to meet this guy before they left to vet him and ensure her safety and security. As her host parents, want her to succeed and make the right choices. The plan was for her to leave on Saturday on the trip. Last night (Friday), she told us she was going to the gym and then to Target. However, she ended up meeting up with this guy and they decided they would leave on their trip that night instead of Saturday! Meanwhile, I heard her come home at 12:30 AM via our Ring Doorbell camera, and 30 minutes later she and this guy we have never met are caught on video leaving with her suitcase!! Since I heard the second notification on departure, text her immediately before she was able to leave. Another thing to note is she brought an unknown man into our house while my wife and two kids were sound asleep. Long story short, I meet the guy in disappointment and they ended up leaving on the trip together. They do have double beds which is good but who knows what will go on. Note, my wife had mentioned to her Birth Control was available if needed but she declined. As you can imagine, I voiced my concerns, documented his divers license, and went over some rules quickly. [b]/// Help ///[/b] What would you do in this situation? This is the third time we have warned her about going on dates without telling us (who, where, what), and is clearly taking advantage of us. If I hand not heard the Doorbell Notification and she left without us meeting this guy, she would have been on a plane back home this week! - My first reaction is to tell her that this is her last warning - one more time it’s back to her country (currently she planning to stay 2y). - No car usage (besides kids activities) for one week. Any help or suggestions you have for next steps in speaking with her / dealing with this major issue would be appreciated. [/quote]
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