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[quote=Anonymous]So we are on our second au pair and we have never given a gift, and we have an au pair arriving this week and are now debating what to do. We have an extraordinaire, so we pay that minimum ($250/week) and have that for her in her ADU when she gets here. We also stock the bathroom in the ADU with toiletries (shampoo, conditioner, etc.), stock the fridge and pantry with staples (which are of course required by the program) and treats (which we don't normally buy for ourselves, but would buy for AP if she requested them, so we have them when she gets here, too). We do a Target trip where we buy anything for her space that she wants over the weekend. During the year we buy all cleaning supplies, toilet paper/tissue, and kitchen/pantry staples and treats on request. We also pay for a dedicated car and all gas. So, we think that this puts us in the middle of HFs, but we try to de-incentivize gift-giving to the AP, to the kids, and among ourselves, we prefer to invest in experiences, to which we always invite the au pair (beach weekends, nice meals out on holidays, day trips). Of course, all of our friends with APs do these elaborate gift baskets or gift cards, which I guess we could run around and do, but it feels forced for us...[/quote]

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