Reply to new AP is on a very strict weight loss diet

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, thanks for all the suggestions, will address it at our weekly status check this Friday. First problem is that she hasn't even given us the chance to show her what we eat, she had dinner with us once :-([/quote]

OP, good luck.
When talking to her (if you decide to bring it up on Friday), tell her that she has to meet her Basal Metabolic Rate. Otherwise she will a) not be able to function and b) she will gain it all back quicker than she thinks (and it will! bring friends). My BMR (old and fat though) is more than 1,600 calories. At 20 (and the weight I had at 20) it would still have been over 1,500. If you eat healthy, that's a shitload of food. Ask her to google it. Or google it for her and show her pictures of how much she has to eat just to cover what her body needs for her to function and keep her healthy. If she is overweight, she will still lose weight on 1,500 calory diet.

I agree that she is most likely worried about gaining weight. Many APs do. New food is exciting. (Processed) Food in the US is also hiding an amazing amount of calories where you wouldn't expect it; HFCS is the devil, if you ask me. And serving sizes (when dining out) are ridiculous. She might also be trying to use this change in setting (new sourroundings, new family, new friends, new structures, new dynamics) to make changes to her weight and diet. There is nothing wrong with this in general. If that's the case she just doesn't seem to have a clue on how to do it in a healthy way and may need help to get her on track.

If she doesn't eat, she can't work for you. However, you also don't want to push her into bulemia because she feels she has to eat in front of you and then feels she needs to get rid of the calories. The question is really WHY she is changing her diet to be the way it seems to be right now and if it's really only out of worry or because of an underlying mental health issue (in which case she might be better off at home).
There is, most likely, no way to approach this with a young female you don't know well without hurting her feelings though. While there may be more or less diplomatic ways to handle it, you will tread on her toes no matter what you do. Still, do not let it go (that would risk both her and your kids' well-being and safety). Depending on where she comes from, just be blunt (don't beat around the bush with a German). If you know she is more sensitive... how about asking her to help you prepare dinner (or lunch)? Schedule her for dinner preparation, make her cut the veggies or fry the fish? So that she understands what is going into her food and what she is putting into her body?

Or of course she might simply be home sick and not have an appetite... maybe approach it from there? You have noticed she doesn't seem to be doing well and doesn't seem to be eating much? Some APs also don't feel comfortable just eating the HF's food (I know, I know... people are odd) because they still feel like a guest in the beginning and don't know what they may take, how much of it or when it's suitable to do so. Some APs, especially those who are online a lot, also read posts as we have here... "my AP ate all the [x] last night, what can I do to make her stop?"... that does not generally help. Uh. Food issues are just difficult. So sorry for you, OP.[/quote]

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