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[quote=Anonymous]Did you ask your AP during matching what the discipline was like when she was a child?  Did she understand that it was to teach her self-discipline, not punish her?

Unless we do a lot of work, we repeat what we learn as children.  A child who was abused grows up to be an abuser, unless they do a lot of work to overcome the emotional damage and look around for better options.  Even for someone whose childhood discipline never crossed the line into abuse can easily slip into the same model that they were taught.  It takes emotional awareness to even consider a different path.

As a child, I was abused emotionally, mentally and physically.  I did the work.  I found other options to safely help children learn self-discipline.  But it’s an ongoing battle, and every day I repeat to myself: “I love children.  My job is to teach them about our world and teach them how to navigate that world.  Their job is to find every loophole, hazy boundary and forgotten rule.  I can get frustrated with them, but I will never yell, hurt or demean them, because they are doing their job and learning.”

It sounds like your AP was raised in a way that conflicts with how you are raising your child, and she doesn’t have the desire to see that she is repeating what she learned as a child.  I would definitely suggest rematch, but one of your top questions needs to be about discipline methods.

As a side note, why are you restraining your child?  Removing objects which could be thrown makes sense.  Removing your child to a safe area to calm down makes sense.  But unless your child is hurting themself or others, it’s actually more damaging than helpful.[/quote]

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