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[quote=Anonymous]Hi, OP!

First, I’m not understanding this other obligation that is regular and now something you have to do. I think clarifying that will help us get a fuller picture.

How old is your child? How often does the babysitter come? How long has the babysitter been with your family?

Regarding your current situation, did the mother ask the sitter to take the child? It doesn’t sound as though she was asked but rather offered.

Is your child friends with this other child (sees the other somewhat regularly? Maybe the kids would like to have a playdate or the sitter sees that they would enjoy a play date, but the other mother can’t make it due to her obligations at home. Are you not okay with this? If not, what makes you uncomfortable?

Regarding pay, if she voluntarily stays at the park late, it is voluntary and you absolutely do not need to pay for that. If she’s running late doing a bigger outing or an obligation for your family, then you do.

I am an adult, career nanny. Most of my work connections are parents, not nannies. I cannot imagine anyone ever wanting to contact my bosses unless they wanted to personally invite them to something, but never to ask permission about my behavior, not ever! Even if I agreed to babysit their kids while I’m on duty, that would be something that I personally handle with my bosses. I also see absolutely zero problem with taking another child to the park with us. I have done that with all of my families and at nearly all ages! But I am also their regular nanny and a temporary part of the parenting team. I know my bosses well and they know me well. I could never work for a family that didn’t trust me to handle the routine autonomously.  But, this may be a younger, occasional or very part time sitter, which certainly changes the dynamics a bit. You should ALWAYS be able to talk with your child’s caregiver about concerns that you are having. My thoughts on how that conversation should go and what the important aspects are, depend on the answers above.

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