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[quote=Anonymous]Is her behavior impacting her job performance (she’s being short with you in front of the kids or stonewalling communication and making it difficult to coordinate things for your DC)?  Or is she just not as friendly as she used to be and it hurts your feelings?

Given that your DC just went through the major change of you two separating and is now about to add two new people to his life in these significant others, it would be very bad timing to change nannies right now.  So if the behavior isn’t interfering with her work I would give her space and wait it out a few months.

As a nanny I have worked through two divorces: one where the parents did everything wrong (fighting in front of kids, trashing the ex in front of kids, using child support and custody as pawns, etc.) and one where they did everything right (put the kids first).  In both of them it was very hard as the nanny because I still ended up being the only one fully focused on the kids while the parents worked through a ton of emotions.  You are looking at your whole life and how this new person fits in.  Nanny is ONLY looking at how it impacts your son.

She may be feeling burned out and has become overly-involved in details of family life due to the stress of trying to be a stable figure in a time of flux.

If her behavior is something you just can’t deal with, have the conversation with respect and appreciation because it sounds like she is coming from a place of loving and worrying about your kid—surely you can both bond over that!

If you do need to make a change, I would try to hold out until the end of the school year so that your child can have summer to bond with a new caregiver.[/quote]

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