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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am in the same boat. Following.

I have a two week Hawaii vacation planned for this summer. Don't need her help, as my kids are older and my parents are also going. But don't want her to feel excluded. I also don''t want to pay for airfare/food/etc. for her to come along.

But she's been so helpful and good with the kids, and doesn't plan on taking a gap month, I feel guilty and like I should be gifting it.

[/quote]

Yikes. If you don’t pay for her to come, I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t breed resentment. I know it’s super expensive but unlike a trip to, say, Chicago, I don’t see an au pair turning it down, couch or otherwise. Good luck. [/quote]

This is an exhausting way to host- constantly worried about ensuring AP is getting everything she might want. It's not healthy. She takes vacations away from you. You are allowed to take vacations from AP. And when you host year after year, you need the alone time as a family unit. I'm not going to avoid vacationing to fun places because it might "breed resentment." If AP honestly resents us for taking a vacation, then she's got serious entitlement issues and should rematch rather than drive me nuts with her lack of boundaries or sense. [/quote]

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