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[quote=Anonymous]When we are liking a prospective AP, I send a "this is what you will get and this is what you won't get with us" email.  I spell out:  We live in a very expensive town but have a small house, whereas their friends will live in enormous mansions with a wing of the house to themselves.  They will drive Mercedes SUVs and Range Rovers, they will go on vacation with their HFs to fancy resorts, and they may well get more than the stipend.  If any of this matters to them, they should go match with one of those families, because this is not who we are, and we never want to hear about all that their friends have (just as we don't want to hear it from our kids - we get that their friends have much more expensive gifts and clothing than our kids do; that's life).  In our house, they will get a clear schedule, a 25 hour work week, absolute strict following of the AP Program rules, a family with a dozen years in the AP program and 11 APs for them to talk to and hear about our strengths and weaknesses, and a family that will welcome them and ask about their day and care about their experience.  They need to decide what they want because if they want our family, i never ever once want to hear about what they aren't getting.

In OP's shoes, I would sit AP down and spell ths out now.  If AP wants to rematch, let her.  And then from now on, be crystal clear about who you are and what you are offering (which is standard in most senses and more than most in terms of payment).  Let APs know flat out that you are who you are and you aren't interested in her complaining about it if she decides to match with you.  Good luck.  [/quote]

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