Reply to Need Advice

Forum Index » General Discussion

Reply to "Need Advice "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]You want to be like an aunt.  You are not.  You are a distant family friend.  You’ll be on their Christmas card list, and you can drop off goodies for them for their birthday and Christmas and maybe you’ll be invited to big stuff like sports tournaments or music recitals or school plays.  The latter (going along to a kid’s event that they had to do anyway), is a great way to keep in touch because it means that arranging a visit with you isn’t One More Thing for mom to manage.  She is now doing your former job along with working 20 hours a week.  She does not want to bend over backwards to build you into the schedule once a week.  So either volunteer for a regular committment that would actually be helpful to her (such as picking them up from school every Tuesday and driving them to X activity), or back way way off.

And you need to have a conversation where you apologize.  You wanted her to prioritize your feelings over her logistical needs.  This is why nanny-as-family doesn’t work.  For your entire relationship, it was your job to make her life easier.  She doesn’t want to start making it harder now!

“MB, I’m really sorry that I’ve been so high-maintenance about wanting to see and talk to the kids.  I know from experience how hectic your lives are and I shouldn’t have put another chore on your full plate.  How about this as a compromise: can you share the schedule for NK’s soccer games?  Then I can come to maybe two a month and support him and if it’s helpful, you could even drop off the other two and I can take them all out for dinner after.  That way I get some built-in time with them in a way that is helpful instead of stressful for you.  Does that work?”[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics