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[quote=Anonymous]We have a 19 year old au pair. She is pleasant and nice, and will ask "what can I do to help" if it's still her work hours and I'm bustling around the kitchen trying to get dinner ready. (I say this to make clear she's not a total do-nothing.) But, she also needs reminders like...you actually do have to keep your room clean, and make your bed, and can't leave your stuff lying all over (same rules as the rest of the family members). Given what appears to be her domestic skill set, my guess is that she didn't have to pull a great deal of weight around home as she doesn't come equipped with a lot of knowledge about meal preparation, cleaning up after yourself in a kitchen, or some of the other stuff one might regard as fairly basic skills. So, I've been working on coaching her on job-specific tasks. She's been receptive but isn't one to take any extra steps (for example, if my spouse leaves a coffee mug on the counter, it will stay there until I get home from work and move it to the dishwasher - and no, we aren't leaving her piles of dirty dishes, it's truly the "one mug" kind of scenario.)

My question though is really about the various tasks we all do as members of the family. For example: making family meals, house cleaning on the weekends, walking the dog several times each day, and as winter approaches, shoveling the sidewalks or driveway (we live in a snowier region than DC). Parents do all family meal preparation, though we get our kids to help as age-appropriate. Kids and parents perform/help with all the other tasks: outdoor stuff, house cleaning, dog walks. What is okay to ask the au pair to do (not exclusively, but on a rotating/shared basis as other family member), and what is not okay? I'm getting a little tired of feeling like I'm hosting a teen slacker and would like to encourage more independence, initiative, and participation. My goal with my own kids is to send them out of our house ready to take care of themselves and their home, and take initiative in doing so rather than waiting for someone else to tell them to do so.

Long term host parents, what do you do? Any LCCs want to weigh in? Thank you![/quote]

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