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[quote=Anonymous]We are with CCAP.

We have been divorced since early 2017.  Here's the situation:

1. We split kids 50-50, week on, week off.
2. Au pair lives with me.  He doesn't have space.
3. He is now remarried, with baby.
4. Au pair came last fall, when baby was a few months old.
5. Our internal agreement as well as our listing stated that she was being hired to take care of our joint kids (now 10 and 12), and only sometimes take care of the baby, and ONLY the baby when the joint kids were at their dad's.  When the kids are with me, she "does not have to care for the baby".

A few days ago, we had a situation where my ex-husband's new wife asked the AP to watch the baby for a few hours at their place, even though the kids were with me.  Our AP said no, I can't, I'm with the 12-year old.  New wife says, oh, just bring him.

I write to ex-husband, remind him of the agreement and the job listing, and he goes ballistic and says that the job listing wasn't binding and that it can change at any time and the AP basically can't say no.  I argue that she can, because he can't just change things without telling anyone, and the AP needs to be on board with the new job.  (She's really miffed that under this scenario, she's basically on call for him for the baby 7 days a week, no matter where the joint kids are.  Which is not what she signed up for.)

We reach out to LCC.  LCC avoids the question initially, then finally says to him what you're doing isn't in the spirit of the program, you're putting her in a corner, and you need to talk to her if you're going to change the job description.

Then, the next day she writes a different email (I actually suspect she didn't write it because she's normally not very eloquent and this one was really eloquent) that says that, in fact, he CAN use her for his needs any time she's not assigned to work with the kids when they're with me as long as it's not over the 45 hour / 10 hour a day limit.  (In this particular case, then, she wouldn't have been able to because she was with one of our kids at that same time that the new wife requested her help.)

But on the phone, he claims that the LCC said that he can use the AP any time he wants.  Basically.

Our au pair is pissed that her job changed without her input or buy-in.  I'm pissed because the AP and I get along great and I don't want to lose her for when the kids are with me but I think she might ask for rematch because of this.  And he's pissed about EVERYTHING.

Clearly, we need to separate our childcare ASAP.  (This is our 7th au pair - we've been in this rodeo before.)  I could pay for my own AP with no problem (we each currently pay for half) and I've got space for her to live.  But I only need every other week for my two kids.  Meanwhile, he doesn't have space for a live-in, and he needs care every other week for our two kids, as well as the baby sometimes during the weeks that the kids are with him and sometimes on other days -- it's not regular at all.

Anyhow ... any (constructive) comments or suggestions are welcome.  Or commiseration...

Thanks.
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