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[quote=Anonymous]First, figure out exactly what your top priorities are and hire for that.  Don’t try to talk yourself out of pet peeves; lean into them.  If you get super skeeved out about indoor playplaces but love the idea of your child spending time outdoors, hire for that!  Your irrational biases will most likely not go away and hiring a nanny who cares for kids in a way you are logiocally okay is not going to cut it.  You need someone who is philosophically in a realm you FEEL comfortable with.

Second,  you won’t be trusting “a nanny,” you will be trusting Olga or Daria or Ameena—it will feel somewhat different when it is a real person who loves children and has glowing references and you have sat and talked with for hours and has held your baby in front of you.

Third, no one expects you to hand over your newborn and just see them 10 hours later.  Trust grows over time.  Any nanny with newborn experience also know about working with newborn parents and the delicate tightrope walk that requires.

So, first you find someone that you genuinely like.  Pick someone with whom you have good rapport and an easy, comfortable back-and-forth.  Then you start small.  Have her shadow you for a day, then the next day have her handle part of the day solo (such as putting baby down for a nap, handling some feeds, etc.) with you in the house.  The next day, have her take over for a few hours in a row (e.g., 9-1 or 1-6) and you leave the house. Ask for and expect updates with photos, questions and so on.  Then you are ready to leave for the whole day.

Even once nanny is caring for baby for the entire day, remember that all you need to trust her with at first is to keep your baby safe and loved.  You cannot and should not trust or expect her to do everything exactly as you would, but you have chosen someone who agrees with you on the most important things, and your first big leap of faith is to let her try.  As you go on there will be points of contention and the way she works with you to resolve them (forthright and respectful)  Will put your mind at ease. There were also be things that she does that you never would have Trent to expect or ask for, that are so wonderful and lovely. There will be moments of such natural affection and joy between your nanny and your child that you are overwhelmed with gratitude that this person is in your life.  Over time your trust and comfort will grow until you can’t imagine life without her![/quote]

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