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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here... this is their first and only nanny. The child is around 18 months old. I get the sense my friend is too busy to think about hiring someone else, so I think she would definitely prefer to not hear anything negative about her nanny.

I've tried to beat around the bush to mention my concerns, like "It's too bad that your nanny couldn't make it when my nanny invited her to the zoo outing the other day," or "I saw your nanny in the park today, would've loved to talk to her and your DD but nanny was so busy talking to her friend" - that type of thing. When I say stuff like this, my friend will eventually find a way to mention how her nanny is so great, so experienced, such a childcare expert, etc. Which makes me think I should drop it, but I wasn't sure. My friend may not be picking up on what I'm saying because I'm being pretty indirect, and she seems very invested in thinking that this is a good nanny. Wasn't sure if I should keep pushing it more directly, or if my friend is picking up on my indirect comments and doesn't want me to raise it further. My indirect comments have been limited to commenting on seeing the nanny socializing a lot with her one friend who watches older kids, and her nanny not being willing to go on other playdates/activities with other kids who are more age appropriate. I haven't mentioned seeing the nanny go on 1-hour stroller walks (seems too long with an 18 month old?) or seeing the child crying in the stroller, or the nanny's role in spreading neighborhood gossip.

Appreciate all the input.[/quote]

I would take a video or two.

Also, I understand that you prefer being indirect, but try this:  “Hey, Susie-Q!  My nanny has been trying to set up a play date for my DD with your DD, but your nanny seems to prefer nanny B who cares for xyz kids.  Do you want to set up a play date with the two of us surpervising, should my nanny drop it, or do you just want to schedule something now with me, and we’ll each tell our nannies when and where?  I’m not trying to be pushy, but I thought our DDs were going to get to play together more.  If not, it’s okay, I just want to know what to expect.”[/quote]

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