Reply to When would you say something to a mom about her nanny?

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[quote=Anonymous]First, how old is the child?  Is this the first nanny, or a successive attempt at decent childcare?

I have zero issues with the walks, even if the child is crying.  Do you know if this child cries every time she goes in the stroller?  Having cared for a few kids who have, that's nbd for me.  How far have you (personally) observed her to walk with the child crying in the stroller?  If it's 30 minutes or less, it doesn't matter what the distance is, the time is reasonable.

Being on the phone at the park for 1-2 minutes could be responding to one of the parents.  10 minutes is overkill, especially if the child is crying to get out.  I'm not a fan of keeping a child in a stroller at the park unless I'm feeding the child (and I need to belt them in to hold them still long enough to eat!), but I have seen some nannies put the child in the stroller to calm down.

The nanny's stern tone of voice wasn't out of line?  Then why would you raise it?  Either it's too stern (and I would think it would also be accompanied by words that are too harsh) or it's the perfect tone of voice to tell the child that they are pushing a boundary and may want to rethink their actions.  Have you tried asking the nanny why she's using that tone of voice?

If the nanny is attending activities solely to talk to her friend rather than for her charge, that's an issue.  Have you observed this, or is this just something you've heard?  I have a group of nannies and 2 SAHMs with whom I chat at the park (or during play dates), but it's while we are watching kids play, and we're all ready to intervene if necessary.  However, we're also all of the opinion that a few guided questions will lead them to learning to share, be kind, and be polite, so unless someone is hurt, we seem like we're focused on out conversations on the bench.  It's done on purpose, because if we let the kids think we're focused on them, they focus on us, rather than playing together and building interpersonal skills with other children.  If she only goes when it's one nanny, the children are only benefiting from repeated play with one set of children.  While there is something to be said for a child being able to start playing with random kids at the park, it's also important that they build friendships for themselves, and that happens when the same children are allowed to play without structure on a semi-regular basis.

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