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[quote=Anonymous]I'm sorry, OP--we have friends who've been in your shoes, and it's tough. And you're right that there's really no good remedy for dramatically different parenting styles.

Talk to the other family first--don't try to talk to your nanny on your own. It puts her in a terrible position--she has allegiances to both families (and for all you know, may prefer the other family as an employer!) I would just be candid with the other family that you think isn't working out because you don't click well. They likely sense the same thing. Then talk about potential paths forward before calling a meeting with all of you present. Remember that you're joint employers of the nanny, so you need to figure it out together. Since you already host, the other family may be okay with you keeping the nanny, but you won't know until you talk about it.

I would also be aware that regardless of which family the nanny stays with, she is likely to want to continue a share to maintain steady income. If you want to keep her on your own, I'd expect to pay the share rate until you find a new family to share with. Make sure you can take on that cost if you anticipate it could be a while before you find a new family (or until you're done needing a nanny, if you don't plan to look for a new family).

Good luck![/quote]

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