Reply to How to avoid a “my way or the highway” nanny

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[quote=Anonymous]Talk to me about what have been the best working relationships with parents in your prior jobs.  Why?

What are your thoughts on sleep training?  (Or discipline, or potty training or whatever is the most relevant issue for you currently and in the next year-18 months.)

What would you do if we asked you to do something that you disagreed with?

Have you worked with first time parents before?  What do you think is the best way (or the most important factors ) for new parents and an experienced nanny to build a good working relationship?

What makes for a good "fit" for you in a job?  What's your wish list for the "perfect" employer?  What are your non-negotiables?  (I.E. - I will leave a job before using physicial discipline.  I don't believe in vaccinations.  etc...)

Those are good questions to elicit information about how flexible they are in their thinking.  You also should be prepared to talk about how you envision the relationship "We hope to hire someone who will be a true partner, but who will also feel comfortable carrying out our wishes with regard to diet, schedule, activity, etc...  We would highly value your expertise and opinion, and we'd also expect you to respect however we choose to parent our child."

Sounds like you are well rid of the first nanny so I'm sure your radar will be much better attuned to those issues going forward.  Be careful not to go too far the other direction of course, you do want someone who can function autonomously enough that you trust their judgement when you are not around, etc...  But everything needs to be rooted in trust that your wishes are being carried out.  That's a perfectly reasonable and fair non-negotiable for you to have - and to articulate to any candidate who wants to know why your first nanny didn't work out.  "She disagreed with our choices on everything, including detergent.  She quit because she felt we didn't give her the autonomy to care for our child as she thought best, not as we instructed.  Clearly it was a bad fit so we're taking the time to make sure we don't repeat that mistake."

Good luck OP.[/quote]

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