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Au Pair Discussion
Reply to "Hurt Feelings"
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[quote=Anonymous]OP, getting your feelings hurt if you had your hopes up is completely normal. I wouldn't take a lack of response or a response you consider ruder personal though. I know it hurts and it's human to be hurt by refusal but just try to tell yourself that they didn't mean to hurt you. (I applied for a job back in July, had an interview in August, was told I'd hear back in September - guess I didn't get it, as I haven't heard from them at all...) [quote=Anonymous]The not responding to the "thanks but we chose someone else" message is VERY normal. [/quote] It's also the (cultural) norm in many countries. You apply for a job, you don't get hired - that's the end of it. There is no need to respond to a "we have to inform you that we cannot offer you a job" at all. No need to reply from the applicant's side and especially no need of thanks for not being hired (I am aware that in the US it's seen as a thank you for the time the employer set aside for you and to show gratitude for the opportunity, this is not the case in every other country in the world). It's not necessarily lack of politeness but rather a sign of how the hiring process in your prospective AP's home country works, coupled with her lack of knowledge of what is culturally expected in the US. Hiring was part of my job (outside the US) for years. I can count replies to refusal letters on one hand. Why do I remember them? Because they were not the norm and usually people trying to force you to give them a job or to complain about us not hiring them. From "You all suck. I am sure you hired a woman less qualified just because she is a woman. I will sue you." and "I never wanted to work for you anyhow." to "I am no good in interviews. Look at my application letter again. That's who I really am. Think about hiring me again. I have all the qualifications you are looking for. Please reconsider." We also don't usually follow up after an interview - we showed up (on time) that's enough to show that we are interested in the job. There is no 'need' to follow up again. In many areas it's higly discouraged to do so because it is considered pushy and snappish rather than polite. This is, again, mostly a sign of cultural differences. Most AP applicants have never lived in the US, have never worked in the US and don't (can't and don't have to) know what is expected from them in a US hiring process. Rude rejections are often caused by a lack of fluency in English and bad translations from their native language. Now yes, some are simply rude. But you will always find your cut of rudes in any random sample.[/quote]
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