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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a conversation you need to have with the parents. I think you have described it well here, without "bashing" the grandmother, and I think you could describe the dynamic sensitively to MB or DB.

The parents need to have a conversation with this grandmother about what she wants vs. what is going to actually happen, and then they need to tell you what was decided. If they do decide that the child should have more alone time with grandma, even if she doesn't want it, you will have to decide if you can facilitate that or not. If not, then you may have to leave. In the end, whatever they decide vis-a-vis grandma is what has to happen.[/quote]

OP here.  We have done this.  MB and DB have done this with a therapist and Grandma.  Both DB and MB know how I feel about leaving my charge is she is crying for me and support my decision to not leave her.

Grandma is mercurial and not consistent.  She also tries to punish my charge with "Well Grandma is just going to leave if you won't play with her".  While I want to keep the peace in the family, I also do not want to be blamed or have my two-year-old charge blamed for not playing with Grandma!  [/quote]

If grandma is actively cruel, then you need to have another conversation with the parents where you determine acceptable responses to these kinds of statements. Can you end the encounter? Can you say something that would otherwise be rude ("Please don't say that to Larla. She is only 3, and is not trying to hurt your feelings." or, "Maybe it is best if you go if Larla's behavior is frustrating you so much." or, "How about all three of us play a game, since Larla seems to behaving trouble with the visit today." or, "Grandma, I'm sorry Larla doesn't want to play. She's not trying to hurt your feelings, and MB and DB are not going to make her play if she doesn't want to." And then weather the angry Grandma storm, by referring her to the parents if she has a complaint.

It sounds like you need more specific tools to deal with the actual moment in which this is happening.[/quote]

Thank you!  These responses are perfect!  [/quote]

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