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[quote=Anonymous]I would not have cleaned her room while she was gone but rather with her being present and helping. Might have done her good to actually see the mess/trash heaved up together as it doesn‘t usually feel as bad when scattered around. From your description, I don‘t believe that she feels any courtesy or shame regarding cleaning/tidyness. Even my chaotic au pairs (and they were never that messy) would clean if I let them know someone was going to enter their room (mechanic etc). Maybe she would feel some shame put on the spot by you since she was hiding candy wraps under the bed? In case you didn‘t document the state of her room and the trashbags you pulled out, I strongly recommend to start now and also send follow-up emails on this to your LCC. I fear you might be in for something more than mess.

I once had an au pair who had a comparable mess in her room and had all her clothes (that were indeed very dear to her) on the floor and wasn‘t even able to keep her documents in shape. As she was from an Asian country and not from a wealthy family at all, the thought of depression entered my mind already at a very early stage. What shall I say, the state of her mind resembled her room. She was depressive, spacey, hysteric, didn‘t make any friends, forgot everything I showed/explained to her, developed anxiety (noises in the house, muslim women wearing headscarves) and started playing house in my kitchen by cooking up gigantic amounts of food which got thrown away. After leaving a boiling pan with food on the stove unattended (she was on a different floor) and setting of the fire alarm, I pulled the plug. Literally. Ended contract (we‘re in Europe) and turned of electricity for stove for the rest of the time (microwave was available).

Cleaned her room after she left. Found many foreign packs of meds, googled them and they were not only for mental disorders.

Honestly, I don‘t think you should have to schedule an au pair to keep her room and hp belongings in a hygenic and orderly state.  They are supposed to be the third adult in your household.[/quote]

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