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[quote=Anonymous]OP, do not jeapordize your job based on the responses here.

Start looking for another job.  Tell prospective employers that you have been with your current family for a couple of years now, but the scope of the job has changed drastically and you think their needs are evolving and it's time for you look for your next family.  If they press you can say that they've added a third child, have kids with special needs, and the mom is planning to stay home for the near term (which is true) so you wanted to explore your options.

Don't seem desperate for a new job - say that you've enjoyed working with this family, but the nature of nanny positions is that a family's needs can change over time and you totally understand that and want to be prepared.  Talk about what you've enjoyed about this family, what kinds of positions you've found to be the best fit, what you find appealing about the position you're interviewing for, etc...  Don't go negative, be professional, and don't explain more than you need to.

Anyone currently interviewing should understand why you can't give your current family as a reference, and if you have good references from prior positions you should be fine.  You can also reach out to your other references to let them know they might be getting a call, and to let them know why you are looking (being as careful and professional with them as you would be in interviews).

Never jeapardize your current position by telling them you will be leaving.  You do not want to find yourself out of a job, or put them in a position to have any contact w/ future employers when they might be angry, etc...  It's really bad advice you've gotten on that, regardless of the profession.[/quote]

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